My computer committed fashion suicide

So my computer exploded. A KA--BOOM kind of explosion, with sparks and fire and smoke. This naturally led many neighbors to call the local police station to report suspicious behavior. I think some of the reports said we were making homemade bombs. Considering the ghetto suburb in which I inhabit. this was no surprise at all. 

I kid, I kid. My life isn't that interesting and my computer didn't explode on itself. It did however crash and die on me. I can’t load it up for more than thirty seconds before it crashes. I even got it to start on safe mode and then it crashed again! 

CRASHED ON SAFE MODE!
IT HAS THE WORD SAFE IN IT AND IT STILL CRASHES!!!
WHAT IS THIS?!

And it ain't even a blue screen of death. It’s this fuzzy plaid pattern in a rainbow of color.

How very fitting right? Even in its final days, my computer will stay true to its owner and reflect his overly flamboyant gayness.

So what to do now? The next course of action seems to get an Apple Macbook, which will complete my total hipster look and off course, provide me with a working computer. But they are so god damn expensive.

But the first thought to go through my head was “I rather spend this money on clothes”. I could get one of those cheaper MacBook Airs, but it isn't very hipster is it?

So really, lets see what $2,499 AUD would get you.

1) Alexander f*cking McQueen
to sit next to the Supre clothes in your wardrobe

Alexander McQueen Intarsia wool-blend dress $2,559

2) Liposuction on my chin

while the rest of my body remains fat

                                                            

Aesthetic Surgery Centre chin lipo $2,500
If I wanted to get my stomach it'll double in price :(

3) Rent a Friend for a week to make you look popular
but does not include sex

Rent a $50 p/h friend for a week 

The options are endless! But what I think I'm going to do is just cancel hiring Lola to be my friend for a week and use that money on a laptop.

Done.